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Married Men Liking My Photos Makes Me Not Want To Ever Be Married (self.TwoXChromosomes)

submitted by ChuckysBuddi

I always get an ick when I get an influx of likes and/or DMs from married men whenever I post a photo in a swimsuit or if I post anything mildly cheeky. The most recent “incident” may have put that nail in the coffin.

A friend of mine is a musician and a promoter, and runs a residency at a local venue, and often asks me and a couple mutual friends to post something on instagram to promote the show; he’ll repost them onto his page, and so it’ll get seen by more than just my followers. For this promo, a friend and I made a video (that was really fun to film!) that had us dancing around her house, and I was wearing a cropped sweatshirt, short shorts, and knee highs. Call me a floozy, but hey, I’m comfortable in my own skin and at the end of the day, it’s an advertisement.

It’s not uncommon to get new followers after posting a promo, but one of said new followers had his wedding photos and his wife’s gender reveal all over his page. I admit I tend to over analyze things, but I just hate the idea that a woman let you get her pregnant, the poor gal can’t even enjoy a glass of wine or a turkey club for the time being, for your baby, and you’re over here following random (forgive my big head) hot women on instagram. It bugs me that men who have their wives heavily featured in their own online content seem to come out of the woodwork to engage with posts that could be perceived as a little more risqué- or an innocent swimsuit photo at the pool in the summertime- but don’t really engage with my more innocuous content. Maybe that Vogue article was right… I’d be grossed out if that were my husband.

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[–]ladylondonderry 134 points135 points  (4 children)

Yeah my most extreme example of this was guys who were ex love interests contacting me after I posted my wedding photos. One was out for a walk with his newborn when he called. Do they have any sense of decency? Any self awareness at all?

[–]ochreliquid 18 points19 points  (3 children)

This makes it clear.  They are only getting married because of pressure and because they want a kid. Not because of love.

[–]ladylondonderry 9 points10 points  (2 children)

I honestly don’t know. Maybe they do love their wives but hold onto some fantasy about what could have been? But whatever they think about me, it’s not real. I never loved them back.

[–]ochreliquid 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Having a fantasy and acting on it are different things. If they are contacting you,  they are acting on it. And i can have a fantasy,  but I resolve my feelings and focus on the present. If you can't get over it, then there other actions to take. 

[–]ladylondonderry 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Agree, it’s extremely screwed up

[–]MistahJasonPortman 109 points110 points  (8 children)

If my boyfriend or husband was doing that shit, I’d wanna know

[–]FuriousGeorge93 7 points8 points  (0 children)

If ya do, why do ya have to let everyone know by hitting the like button? Never makes any sense to me

[–]sjb67 2 points3 points  (6 children)

I can guarantee they are. I work with all men. They show everybody their texts/pictures etc they get. They share it all

[–]holllygolightlyy 27 points28 points  (1 child)

Even the men you think could never do that, most likely do.

[–]sjb67 11 points12 points  (0 children)

They do. Sad but true

[–]All Hail Notorious RBGGracieThunders 17 points18 points  (1 child)

Not surprising you're getting downvotes, you just outed the bro code HARD

And every word of that is true

[–]sjb67 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yea I love the ones that say.. oh it’s not me, I wouldn’t do that!… yea right

[–]sirensinger17 50 points51 points  (3 children)

Back in my OnlyFans days, it was shocking how most of my subscribers where "happily" married men. It really shaped my view of men going foward.

[–]imaginecrabs 53 points54 points  (2 children)

My friend was a dancer and cam girl and she said she would literally never commit/settle with a man because even the most godly looking regular "family man" was the most heinous offender. She was giving a dance to a regular at the club once, he was piss drunk and admitted his wife was at home counting down contractions until she got to the 5 minute mark for the hospital. She thought he was at work squeezing in some last hours before his leave for the newborn.

[–]ochreliquid 21 points22 points  (1 child)

I threw up a little at reading that. Wtf.

[–]imaginecrabs 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yeah, one of dozens of stories her and her coworkers tolde. I hope that poor woman is doing okay and hopefully away from him.

[–]Livid_Medium3731 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I deleted insta but I hated it too.

Lustful men are the worst.

[–]Holiday-Educator3074 24 points25 points  (1 child)

Yeah my advice to any woman is to not marry. There’s so much more to life and a vast majority of men are unfaithful.

[–]ans678 8 points9 points  (0 children)

💯

[–][deleted] 21 points22 points  (1 child)

The amount of copium in this comment section is getting me. Many if not most marriages in western societies are NOT swingers AND (supposedly) monogamous, lol.

[–]OhGooses 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is very true, but even monogamous relationships can have agreements like it being fine to like sexy pictures on social media. There are lots of different levels of comfort, and making assumptions and judging based on them is just ignoring that.

[–]Which_Income_3682 3 points4 points  (0 children)

At my previous workplace, a former college who has worked for this company for 10 years told me that our ceo rented a whole apartment near his workplace for his girlfriend. On work trips the company would book my colleagues room in different hotel and the owner and his gfs room in a different hotel.

The owner was married with two kids.

The owner would also try to set up his married friends with my colleague who is married with kids!.

AND

My friends colleague admitted that he and his friend group of about 16 men (all married with kids) take a boys trip twice a year, hire a sex worker and everyone takes turn one by one. None of their wives have any idea all these years.

[–]Myrkana 32 points33 points  (20 children)

This feels weird are only single people and women allowed to like your stuff?

Do you know the rules of their relationship? Would the wife be upset about him looking at pictures and stuff on isntagram? Hell they could be swingers or something and you never know.

I wouldnt judge things unless you know what their relationship entails and a lot about them personally.

[–]ChuckysBuddi[S] 66 points67 points  (16 children)

I’ve got married folks that will like a picture of my dessert or a silly picture of me just as soon as they’ll like a picture of me at the beach. It only feels weird when they’ll only like the more “risqué” posts and/or proceed to DM me.

[–]SoCalThrowAway7 41 points42 points  (0 children)

Yeah the DMing is so damning because it’s so unnecessary, liking just the risqué posts too. Like so obvious.

SNL had a good skit in recent years for a game show called “Why did you like that?” Where the host grills guys in relationships about why they liked “thirst trap” posts. Might be a cathartic laugh right now haha

[–]Awesmozem 5 points6 points  (5 children)

I'm gonna gently agree with some other people posting in the comments that I don't see the issue with this specific man? I'm also not usually one to defend men so like, great night, but I also feel a bit called out by this?

Like I'm a lesbian who would potentially absolutely like a post with a cute girl in it. I also am in a long term relationship with my girlfriend. I would not have DM'd you as this man didn't because like, weird. I also have quite a few photos of me and my gf on my social media.

Like, would you also find that strange? I just find there's a trend in this sub to demean sexuality whole cloth a lot of the time, and I feel like I really catch strays as someone into women for doing pretty basic things that seemingly don't demean women in any particular way.

I just don't really know what this post is like, for? You seem upset that your post that you self admitted had you dressed more eye catchingly attracted the most basic of internet interactions from a dude?

[–]ChuckysBuddi[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

It’s really only weird when someone only interacts with posts of said promos where I may be dressing to meet the “vibe,” or posts where I just happen to be existing in a swimsuit or other small clothes, and doesn’t interact with any other content, like travel pics or goofy pics. In my experience any wlw followers typically interact with all types of things that I post, not just what they might deem “sexy,” if that makes sense.

[–]Awesmozem 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Okay, and I know a bunch of wlw folks that aren't like that. I'm one. My gf is one. I have friends that are similar. Like, we're attracted to women and we like posts with women looking good. This guy seems to be the same? Im just not quite understanding what's so offensive about this that it deserved a post.

[–]imunchgarbage 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Messaging or being gross about it is big ick.

Just following seems fine? Having trouble seeing why that is bad. Aren't you posting to get followers?

[–]Figmentdreamer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Can someone explain why social media likes are a big deal? I don’t understand. If people reach out to you and suggest sexual things or something I get how that can be bad. But just a like? I like a lot of things, many are photos of men and women.

What am I missing here?