Reddit is so horrifying bc you can go to a sub for people with health problems and see tons of people desperate for help, strategizing on how to be taken seriously, and then you go to a doctor sub and it's full of professionals talking about hysterical women and blue hair.

Kuuchan_ · 2025-11-06T07:16:59+00:00

Yeah... Ive had a doctor write in my file in the ER that I was "hysterical" and a "hypochondriac" when I had a fecal impaction that was turning into a bowel obstruction. They found out later that I was not in fact a hypochondriac.

experfailist · 2025-11-06T12:01:18+00:00

My wife insists i attend ALL her doctors appointments and says the bullying has decreased by 90% and they actually listen when she talks. It's a sad state of affairs.

Possible-Campaign949 · 2025-11-06T06:56:13+00:00

💯

i’ll never forget when i was in hs and i started throwing up every time i ate. i went to the doctor abt it and was told to just drink more water, even though i was already drinking around 80 oz a day. the doctor made me feel like a dumbass and was super patronizing about it.

i only got over it bc i started taking otc gerd medication. whether or not it was actually severe gerd that caused it i don’t even know lol

PacificNWdaydream · 2025-11-06T14:19:38+00:00

I was diagnosed as hysterical when I was having clear signs and pain from gall bladder disease. Took three ER appointments before they would scan me and exclaim “wow, that’s a lot of gallstones!”

Fuckers

CookieBabe123 · 2025-11-06T08:19:45+00:00

I went into hospital in excruciating pain to the point where I was vomiting and fainting I had pelvic pain. I’m a woman by the way and I made the mistake of mentioning that I’ve been through a trauma, but I was just trying to mention a miscarriage I had but I kept saying that I’m in extreme pain I asked if I could please see a woman under the circumstances they sent in a male doctor and told me that it was “all in my head “

Me and my mum just started crying and we left

later on Ended up going to the Womens hospital and was treated a lot better there.

Strange_Airships · 2025-11-06T15:15:56+00:00

Two years ago I had a hysterectomy. A week or so later I suddenly started bleeding a LOT. The advice nurse told me to call 911 and to not drive. I was taken to the hospital in relatively good spirits because I mostly felt fine. I lost so much blood they kept me overnight. In the morning, they wanted me to go to the bathroom before they discharged me. I had continued to lose blood and newly passed out as soon as I stood up to go to the bathroom. I went from good spirits to telling the nurse there was something very wrong and that I was scared & needed help. Nope! You’re fine! The doctor wants to discharge you! They wouldn’t even take my BP before I left. So, I had a friend pick me up because they said I had to go. They wrote on my discharge paperwork that I would not be seen if I came back.

The next day, I was so bad that I couldn’t get out of bed without immediately losing consciousness. My family was visiting by that time, so they called 911 again and I had to convince the EMTs that I needed to go to the hospital where I had my surgery. They saw that the nearby hospital didn’t want me back, so they drove me 40 miles to the hospital where I’d had surgery. They found that I’d apparently lost over a quarter of my blood and was actively dying. Several bags of blood and 5 days later, I was discharged and sent home again. I spoke to several lawyers, but apparently nothing could be done about the original hospital because I didn’t die.

This, and the lack of pain management in my life, and the constant begging, but being polite and grateful, but also making sure I have every fucking thing documented so maybe I have a chance at getting help, then not actually getting help most of the time is exhausting.

Hermeria · 2025-11-06T14:27:29+00:00

I suffer from cluster headache, a very invalidating and chronic type of headache, to the point that many people who experience it have suicidal thoughts during the episodes and neurologists often describe it as one of the most painful conditions known to medical science.

Yet when I explained my symptoms to the neurologist he said “It’s just a headache, millions of people experience it everyday” and gave me a normal painkiller. 🙂

Moon_in_Leo14 · 2025-11-06T07:29:29+00:00

Yes indeed. Unfortunately, it is not limited to the United States. I have been gaslit by MD's in the US plenty. Now I live in another country, and in some respects, it's even worse. In my experience.

ETA: I think what you're talking about may have to do more with misogyny and sexism rather than solely Dr/ patient stuff. Sexism and misogyny, misogyny and sexism. This exists all over the world and some of it far more severe than in the US. Far, far more severe. Like the country I'm living in at the moment.

Not that there are not female clinicians who gaslight their patients, but in my experience that is far more common with male physicians and female patients. No question.

MinimalYogi27 · 2025-11-06T15:40:42+00:00

My husband was with me when I miscarried in the ER, and all the appointments after. He said he never could have imagined how bad the medical system is for women. He was shocked and so upset at how appalling the whole situation was 💔

andonis_udometry · 2025-11-06T17:27:58+00:00

I once went to the ER with a sustained HR of 120 while I was pregnant and all I could think was “they’re going to think I’m being dramatic, I’m probably wasting everyone’s time.” That was AFTER my OB-GYN insisted I go to the ER immediately. I still felt like I wouldn’t be taken seriously, that it was all somehow in my head. Thankfully i was well taken care of by an all-female team of high-risk OBs, but it just goes to show how we’ve internalized all this medical gaslighting.

Edited for clarity.

Telephone-Nearby · 2025-11-06T21:34:26+00:00

I waited eight hours in the ER due to extreme pain in my pelvic region. When they finally brought me back, they didn’t offer me any sort of pain relief. Instead, a male doctor spent 30 minutes digging around with the transvaginal ultrasound wand while I writhed in pain on the table. He said I had a cyst and sent me home with instructions to keep an eye on it.

Two days later, after begging my GP for a scan, I found myself sobbing while waiting to be loaded into the CT machine at an outpatient center. At that point, I couldn’t walk and had to request a wheelchair. One of the nurses was shocked and asked what was wrong. I told her what was happening and how I was in so much pain and that I couldn’t tolerate it any longer. That I had been in another ER and was sent away. I even asked (begged) if there was a pharmacy on site where I could get some sort of pain relief. The kind nurse was looked horrified and concerned, the other nurse with her just rolled her eyes.

They performed the scan and rolled me back to my husband. Said that I’d get the results by the next morning. Husband started to push me towards the exit when the kind nurse came charging down the hall, demanding that we come back to talk to a doctor over the phone.

Turns out, I had ovarian torsion thanks to a 9mm cyst. My ovary twisted over itself three fucking times. I had to be rushed into an emergency surgery at a hospital 45-minutes away. By the time I got there and got prepped, I didn’t care about anything or anyone. I was in so much pain that I was welcome to the idea of bleeding out on the operating table.

Horrific experience. Could have been avoided if someone had just fucking listened to me at any point and took my pain seriously.

No_One_1617 · 2025-11-06T08:23:51+00:00

Nothing positive to say about medicine, especially the attitude of male doctors. Among other things, they also sexually harassed me.

mangababe · 2025-11-06T20:22:04+00:00

Stopping by to once again tell the story of the doctor who insisted my severe foot pain was a sign that I was fat and trying to not exercise (I walk and bus everywhere, exercise is a part of my daily life Even if I'm not actively working out) for a month through multiple appointments until I was fed up enough to go to the Local urgent care.

I HAD A BROKEN FOOT. And it didn't heal right because I was walking around on it for a month and now I just have a bum foot. which ironically makes it harder to get around and lessens my chance of becoming more active.

Objective_Pudding_47 · 2025-11-06T16:53:22+00:00

I had a period of time earlier this year. Where I was getting really bad vertigo. Pains in my skull. Sweats and nausea. The vertigo was causing me mad panic attacks. Everytime I went to the doctors they said it was jsut anxiety and even gave me bata blockers. After keep going back they took bloods and saw I had a high infection rate. They couldn’t even find out where the infection was. They give me a sick note for my work that said “chest infection” I did not have a chest infection. But I really really had to push to get a blood test It was really upsetting. I got antibiotics for it and it was fine but ya girl could have got sepsis. Still don’t know what the infection actually was

akaisuiseinosha · 2025-11-06T19:39:44+00:00

Stuff like this makes me feel like malpractice insurance is a mistake. Like, don't get me wrong, I know why it's there, but I also feel that a whole lot of shitty doctors would be weeded out of the profession a LOT faster if they could be held liable more often. It seems like more and more, people are becoming doctors specifically to do as much harm as possible.

Heavy-Macaron2004 · 2025-11-06T12:55:02+00:00

Shout-out to my GP who did nothing for me ever! Treated 11 year old me like an opioid addict for mentioning my crippling hip pain. Finally stopped seeing her when she told me, after I lost 50 pounds in a month on accident, that I'm "not quite where we want you at yet". Nightmare woman. Transferred to someone else who's so understanding and lovely, but she'll occasionally be absent and so I'm stuck with Nightmare Woman telling me the clearly open and bleeding wound in my hand is actually healed and the visible bleeding granulated tissue is just scar tissue and that I "need to be more careful because there are consequences for our actions". May Nightmare Woman rot forever.

dream_a_dirty_dream · 2025-11-06T19:24:33+00:00

My mom is not dead because she went to HS with her doc.

She would've died if it had been up to the ER asshole that wanted her to go home.

LaSphinge · 2025-11-06T20:12:04+00:00

It reminds me of the day when I was in so much pain that I couldn’t drive, and my mother had to come and pick me up from work to take me to the doctor. I took a painkiller in the meantime (I have some pretty strong painkillers for another problem). I thought I had appendicitis. The doctor kept telling me that it was probably nothing because I didn’t have a fever or nausea, even though I was in pain exactly where appendicite is and it was the first time in my life that I had felt pain there. My mother and I had to insist that I be allowed to have an ultrasound. Guess who was sent to the emergency room for appendicitis right after that?

Autumnsphere23 · 2025-11-06T13:18:28+00:00

It's a horror show

PhasmaUrbomach · 2025-11-06T21:09:02+00:00

I went to the doctor about a constellation of symptoms. He told me I was "intolerant of middle age." Shortly thereafter, I had to spend the night in the hospital because my thyroid tanked. Thanks for that, doc!

I got a new doctor after that.

Kailynna · 2025-11-06T08:07:39+00:00

I've only once seen a professional speak that way in r/AskDocs and the rest of the doctors there gave him a real talking to.

However IRL doctors I've visited have ignored, ridiculed, humiliated, groped, lied to my face and nearly killed me.

Castiel2016 · 2025-11-06T23:20:13+00:00

Doctors tried telling me I was pregnant when I had a kidney infection

Megan1111111 · 2025-11-06T19:22:19+00:00

I was always under the impression that domestic violence was only physical. I started seeing a psychiatrist after my divorce. I thought I was devastated from getting divorced. My psychiatrist failed to see that I was actually traumatized from fear and emotional abuse from domestic abuse. He diagnosed me with borderline personality disorder.

Ok-Property6209 · 2025-11-07T00:07:04+00:00

I had a skiing accident and the dr told me I had strained the muscles around my knee and to rest it for 2 weeks. The pain kept getting worse and my knee did not feel stable. I went to a&e and my gp 3 times in the following months, same story.

My knee started to buckle and give in as I walked. Still dismissed. Got to the point I fell down when my knee gave in and was in such pain, I felt like I was going to vomit. Random strangers had to carry me into an uber. Finally got an mri, I had torn my acl completely and my meniscus, needed surgery. In total, it took 7 months for this to happen. I had to get to a point where I couldn’t support my own weight before I was heard and taken seriously.

eva-bug46 · 2025-11-06T23:14:38+00:00

Im 20 and have a rare hereditary condition and other issues as a result. I became fully disabled and started seeking answers a few years ago. The shit I heard from medical professionals, I question how they passed school. The first cardiologist I ever saw blamed my palpitations and documented 190 BPM, while asleep, on eating CARBS.

What makes me angry is it’s not only me, there is literature about this. Women have higher fatality rates from medical emergencies (such as heart attacks) compared to men. It takes women on average longer to be taken seriously in emergency rooms and medical care. We even get better outcomes when other women operate on us compared to male surgeons!

pancake_sass · 2025-11-06T18:14:57+00:00

I was looking for an ADHD and/or autism diagnosis a few years ago. I did a TON of research on the topic and was self-diagnosed, but I wanted a Dr to diagnose me for validation, to make sure I wasn't crazy.

The first appointment I had, the Dr rolled his eyes at me and said that everyone wants to be autistic these days. Then he proceeded to tell me that adults don't have ADHD and women don't have Autism. He told me it was anxiety and depression, and prescribed me a high dose of Wellbutrin.

Surprise surprise, I have both ADHD and Autism.

SerenaKillJoy · 2025-11-07T01:29:20+00:00

One time a male nurse told me I couldn’t have endo because I could hold my side and bend over??? It was so fucking weird. I literally looked at him like he had 5 heads and said “who taught you this? A chiropractor? Get me a real nurse. You won’t be pretending to be mine today.”

Always. Stand. Up. To. Them.

The nurse who came in after him called him a dumbass too. (To my face, not his).

Oh and I already had fucking scans to prove my endo??? I was at the ER for something else completely and he just decided to gaslight me unprovoked when I mentioned it. Also he was gay, so never assume they are perfect little allies because the bad ones are often way worse.

angeryreaxonly · 2025-11-07T03:03:30+00:00

The "anxiety" I was misdiagnosed with and dismissed over for 3 decades was finally correctly diagnosed as a congenital arrhythmia, in my late 30s, when I doctor finally bothered to take 5 minutes to give me an EKG. I do not have, and have never had, an anxiety disorder. I do, however, need to be taking anti arrhythmia medication every day of my life because I am at an elevated risk of slipping into a fatal heart rhythm that could kill me. Sure would've been awkward if I'd randomly dropped dead because of "anxiety"

Panda-delivery · 2025-11-07T04:10:02+00:00

23 years of dysuria, pelvic pain, & cloudy chunky (yes chunks of tissue) urine multiple doctors just told me it was a UTI and to wipe front to back. Even when my cultures kept coming back negative they swore it was an infection.

Finally after crying to a female gynecologist that my pain was so bad I was getting stomach ulcers from all the ibuprofen I was taking they did a cystoscopy. The inside of my bladder was covered in bleeding lesions. The white stringy chunks in my urine were pieces of the lining of my bladder.

jorwyn · 2025-11-08T00:15:34+00:00

Can confirm. I've had a doctor put in my file that I have Munchausen's. I'd moved states and needed a referral to a neurologist to get a new prescription for my anti seizure medication. He refused to give me a referral unless I went to a psychologist first. My insurance wouldn't cover the neurologist without the referral. I didn't have the money to pay for the visit myself. My old neurologist couldn't legally prescribe the medication without a new in person visit, but he was 1500+ miles away. Note that all my medical paperwork was sent to that fix doctor and confirmed, plus I had a copy. I had been diagnosed with epilepsy and had EEG proof of that. My old neurologist had also given me enough samples to make it through 3 months because it often takes that long to get a new patient neurologist appointment. He'd called ahead of me to make sure an epilepsy specialist in a city near where I was moving was accepting new patients. He'd contacted this doctor to make sure I could immediately get a referral. The entire move was so carefully planned to ensure I wouldn't have a gap in treatment. But this asshole just sat there and refused and used me getting upset as evidence I was "mentally disturbed."

So, I ran out of meds, had a seizure, lost my driver's license for a while over it, and had to accept a much lower paying job 2 1/2 miles from my place so I could walk. I had to go to a food bank again to feed my son, mooching rides off a neighbor. Our town had no bus system. I'd been seizure free for years on medication, so I hadn't worried about moving there. On top of all that, when I finally got to a new neurologist 6 months later (I had to wait to get to see a new doctor plus another 12 weeks to get into the neurologist), my original medication didn't work. That's a known risk with a lapse. We went through 5 more, some of which have caused permanent medical issues, and 4 years before finding one that worked fully and didn't try to kill me.

And I couldn't find a single lawyer who would take a malpractice case on contingency. They didn't think they'd win because somehow in all of that, I managed to be a single mom, work full time, and go to college full time. Me being incredibly stubborn and tough, and having a kid so I couldn't give up, doesn't mean that wasn't malpractice. Me not having convulsive seizures also didn't make them no big deal. The permanent medical issues aren't nothing, either. The decade rewind that did to my career and finances also isn't negligible. I had just finally managed to get my son and I out of poverty, and we were right back in it. Those things should matter. I should matter.

JustnoSnark · 2025-11-07T01:37:37+00:00

I was told my male oncologist that I had a phobia of getting a serious illness AFTER my cancer diagnosis. He actually put it in my chart nosophobia. I had it removed.

Awesome_opossum__ · 2025-11-07T12:06:40+00:00

Can we have a public list of these doctors? Like a list of people to avoid and doctors who actually listen and then circulate the list amongst our communities for women actually seeking help?

Mental_Nectarine_803 · 2025-11-07T13:33:46+00:00

when i was only 3-4 months old i was very sick and had trouble breathing. my mom went to the doctors begging for help for a WEEK but always got turned down, finally a nurse, having enough of my mom, admitted me in after calling my mom HYSTERICAL. a doctor took us in and it didn't even take 5 minutes when she already was like "yep your baby has whooping cough, it's good you came here now before it was too late" and the doctor was so mad at the rest of the staff who turned us away. she saved my life when no one else listened to my mom, we are thankful to her til this day

Kathmandoo7 · 2025-11-07T15:07:43+00:00

I was diagnosed about a year ago with a serious autoimmune disorder that has caused a lot of damage to my body. I was referred to a rheumatologist for some strange test results and a skin lesion that my dermatologist couldn't figure out.

I went to the rheumatologist, did the tests, answered the questions, and nothing was definitive. My doctor, who is a woman, looked at me and asked me what my biggest concern was at that moment. So I brought up my joint and back pain. It was so bad at that time that I wasn't sleeping.

I had been to other doctors for this pain over the years who told me that I was growing (teen years), playing too much rough sports (Rugby), gained too much weight (under 170lbs at 5'9), or was pregnant.

I ended up being diagnosed with degenerative spinal arthritis and already had fusions. One follow-up question and 2 simple imaging tests changed my whole life. It never would have occurred to me to bring it up at that appointment if she had not asked. I went home with a huge smile on my face. My husband couldn't understand it, but I was so happy to finally have an answer for the way I was feeling.

RoastBeefy24 · 2025-11-07T18:53:58+00:00

I've started walking out mid appointment. If I am paying you to listen to me and you're not...it's the only time I have ever seen a doctor respond to me. Usually pissed off, but I'm done being polite to someone who is taking my money and treating me like trash.

Tinabird20 · 2025-11-08T08:54:55+00:00

To be fair my husband was gaslit into thinking he just had Coivid go home he'd be fine. Had I "the hysterical wife" not pushed him and the doctors hed be dead. He was in heart failure.

Obvious-Gate9046 · 2025-11-08T00:24:11+00:00

Women's health sucks. It sadly has for very long time and while it's gotten better, it still sucks. A lot of health procedures and practices are based on men, with women as an afterthought. That is insane. And I know for certain that you're right, that women are frequently treated differently, taken less seriously. It's maddening, I can't fathom it personally, why we would do this to one half of the population. Why we wouldn't want everybody to be taken seriously and treated properly. I just don't understand.

Authorjadegreene · 2025-11-08T13:10:36+00:00

Ugh… this. I’m 34 and was diagnosed with Psoriatic arthritis when I was 30 but it took being misdiagnosed like 3 times for them to finally be like…. Oh…. Yeah that’s probably not athletes foot.… I couldn’t walk for 6 months and they thought it was athletes foot at first. They didn’t want to believe it was arthritis because I’m too young… ok idiot doesn’t change the condition is what it is. I can only imagine how these people feel about childhood disability or cancer. No matter how awful their bed side manner please don’t give up. You can always switch doctors. After being treated properly I could walk (even run) again but it took so much patience and failure to get me there.

WebBorn2622 · 2025-11-06T14:55:32+00:00

Once went to the ER with excruciating period pain.

I had woken up in pain, laid in my bed in a fetal position for 4 hours. Attempted to get up. Collapsed on the floor in agony. Laid on the floor unable to even get back into bed for 2 hours. Then my dad found me and took me to the ER.

After a pregnancy test I repeatedly attempted to explain I didn’t need came back negative the doctor asked if I had eaten anything. I answered that I had been in so much pain I couldn’t walk or stand up on my own so I hadn’t been able to go to the kitchen to make food, but that otherwise I would have eaten.

The doctor sent me home and gave my dad a pamphlet on eating disorders.

melonlord37 · 2025-11-06T17:51:08+00:00

I'm so thankful my PCP actually listens to me and believes me when I tell her things.

romcomalignmentchart · 2025-11-07T15:05:20+00:00

I had an ovarian cyst and blacked out from pain one Friday night it was so bad. Pain continued all weekend, so I called my doctor Monday morning, the best they could get me in was Tuesday afternoon. On Tuesday, the doctor realizes it's an ovarian cyst and says "oh we should have had you in yesterday" then proceeds to press on it while I'm laying back (which I can't even fully lie flat cos extending my torso completely is too painful) and when I immediately start crying cos it hurts so fucking bad when it's PRESSED ON, doc goes "are you crying because you're scared?" I'm like "no I'm crying because it hurts!" Like you already knew it was bad and now you're dismissing my physical representations of pain? Like why?

It was either an ovarian cyst or a bowel issue. I asked about the bowel thing because my mother had it and the doctor was like "Oh no you can't get that at your age". I went and did my own research and there have been TONS of recent studies about that issue happening in younger and younger women but I don't think doctors really keep up to date on scientific research unfortunately.

Then when they imaged my ovaries, they wrote down the complete wrong measurements. I was left wondering for 2 weeks why one ovarian was twice the size of the other and so confused (no research could speak to why that would be the case or what impact it would be) until I could finally get my doctor on the phone. Doc hadn't even noticed the measurement mistake, so that's how closely they all look at imaging that we pay hundreds of dollars for 🙄

KaiYoDei · 2025-11-07T20:45:35+00:00

Wait untill you see how people with “ medically unrecognized disorders” get treated

2025-11-07T21:54:57+00:00

Some of the comments are shocking and sad :-(

It's astonishing educated people can treat others in this way when it's literally their job not to.

LadyofDungeons · 2025-11-08T05:33:05+00:00

It's even worse when you are obese. Any issue is blamed on the weight. And if you can't lose weight easily like me the normal way due to medical issues. Well fuck me. I don't ever see male doctors now.

peesys · 2025-11-08T09:31:15+00:00

I had a female doctor write metal illness apparent-chronic when I asked her to treat a rash I had that was very real

sufferingisvalid · 2025-11-11T18:49:01+00:00

Regarding gaslighting by male doctors, I personally think cruelty is the point. They want your real diagnosis to be obscured and delayed in assignment so that you get sicker and suffer more. It is a negligent abuse tactic meant to make a woman hurt so a man feels powerful and in control, and I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of male doctors get off on this mistreatment.

Not all male doctors gaslight for this reason, but when a lot of communication come in the form of cruel misogynistic stereotypes, get suspicious.

McSwearWolf · 2025-11-11T22:06:43+00:00

I quit doing medical or dental in the USA. I fully pay for insurance so that my family is covered in the USA, but refuse to actually use it unless there’s an absolute emergency, and even then, I have a DNR, so not much intervention I would want if it’s in a US hospital with US doctors and nurses.

For dental care I go to Mexico (lucky me it’s 17 miles away) where my dentist is brilliant and affordable - say what you want about that, but I trust her implicitly, and know her family. I get other meds like antibiotics and birth control in Mexico if I need them.

SA’d by a “ doctor “ in FL during an exam and that was the last straw for me. Many other instances of feeling degraded or ignored, but that was the day I said: I’m freaking done!

joyfulnoises · 2025-11-20T08:11:01+00:00

God the mild irritation. I’m so sick of the mild irritation.

2025-11-24T08:02:00+00:00

[removed]

marysue999 · 2025-11-06T13:44:45+00:00

I understand that people have these experiences in real life but that is not what the doctor subreddits are like.


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