I feel like men treat me worse since I had a glow up/became more attractive

query_tech_sec · 2025-09-26T15:02:42+00:00

I have never completely understood how so many men are totally fine with seriously dating or even marrying women who have opposing views on the important issues (politics, religion, even views on marriage/kids sometimes). There was even a man on the atheist subreddit complaining about a woman he decided to message on a dating app that had Bible quotes in her profile blocked him when he outted himself as an atheist. So it's not even just right wing men who do that.

Not_good_with_math · 2025-09-26T15:23:11+00:00

I experienced this myself. I've come to the conclusion that yes, we need to be cynical about relationships. It's unfair and unfortunate, but being naive and giving men the benefit of the doubt is quite honestly, really damaging and even dangerous to us. I'd rather put more effort in preventing a lying man from getting into my life now than down the road when their lies come out and our lives are far too entangled.

Outside_Memory5703 · 2025-09-26T14:40:36+00:00

Men mostly care about sex. Now that you have the “sex”, you’re seeing more of that

Take the nice but never forget where it comes from

It’s also unfortunate that men of character and morals are rare. You had way fewer options before, and now you have the fun task of having to sort through a much larger pool of trash

Out of interest, how do women treat you now?

Nauin · 2025-09-26T14:20:11+00:00

No one ever wants to believe me, but at 6ft tall I have been 94lbs and 220lbs.

I felt much better about how I was treated when I was fat than when I was model-skinny. Everyone thinks it's reversed but that was not my lived reality. The insults, the stares, and the stalking were all far worse when I was thin. Being ignored by the same people when you're fat is a godsend in a lot of ways.

ConcentrateTrue · 2025-09-26T15:13:49+00:00

[deleted]

IridiumFlareon · 2025-09-26T14:40:11+00:00

Really just avoiding men for the most part now, because this has been my experience too. If they’re being nice to me, I’m instantly suspicious because I know how that goes 99% of the time.

gringitapo · 2025-09-26T15:16:23+00:00

Oh totally, there’s a lot to this. We might be given leeway, we might be treated better from a surface level perspective. I’m in no way denying pretty privilege exists, I’ve certainly experienced it.

But there’s a dark side to it that no one wants to hear about because no one wants to hear us complain, and that alone is part of the dark side. It’s isolating.

Then there are the men who will do everything in their power to try to pull one over on you so they can sleep with you. It’s horrifying. It feels like being a prey animal, you realize how many people are waiting in the wings for one vulnerable moment so they can get in your pants. It’s an awful feeling. The leering, the deceitfulness, the harassment, the men who “accidentally” touch you or rub up on you when they’re walking by. It’s constant and horrifying.

But then there’s the other part: the resentment. It’s insane how many people, men and women, resent you just for existing. Like, I’m still just a person with hopes, dreams, insecurities. But just because I’m pretty, there are huge swaths of the population that want to see me fail, or be humbled, or get hurt in some way, just because I exist. Men resent you for not being able to sleep with you, women resent you out of jealousy, meanwhile I’m just trying to live my life, do my best and be kind to everyone around me. My strategy is to kill them with kindness and it works a lot of the time, but not always.

Anyways, I’m grateful to be attractive in this patriarchal world where it’s still sort of a weapon in my arsenal, but sometimes it’s nice to be able to vent about the gross and scary stuff that comes with it without an anticipatory eye roll from people who imagine you have no problems in life.

honeykissesmerciless · 2025-09-26T14:48:59+00:00

I get you sister, I’m sorry the world is this way. I don’t want to be just a toy.

The_Philosophied · 2025-09-26T15:33:42+00:00

I’ve noticed shame is a powerful driver for most people’s odd behaviors. A lot of times just your existence will trigger shame in another and instead of sitting with it they’ll lash out on you.

One way this manifests is a man will see you and just assume for whatever fickleass reason “she’s too good for me” and once he does that he’ll start to punish and humble you at every turn. My ex did this and he ramped it up once he realized I was about to leave and even got his female friends to bully me while secretly confessing to me how he didn’t want to lose me and how he loved me and even wished he was “like” me.

Also women who go out of their way to tell me “way a sandwich” but if I tell them to eat less I’m the worst person ever.

Justatinybaby · 2025-09-26T15:11:41+00:00

Ugh I’m so very sorry!!! The common denominator is… men. Most of them truly don’t see us as people but rather sex objects. And when that’s taken away we are trash to them. It’s the hierarchy of our society. There’s hierarchy everywhere and it’s exhausting. I’m part of another hierarchy in our society that I rarely bring up in these and other spaces because people automatically dismiss what I’m saying. It really sucks and I hate it but it’s just part of our society regrettably.. other people have internal biases that they are unaware of and many men have been trained since they were young to treat us this way. It’s not fair but it’s something we need to learn to navigate if we are going to continue to interact with them.

Don’t let them get to you. If they are treating you this way it’s THEIR problem. They are not quality individuals. Hold men to the same standard that you hold women to.

Men who like ONLY thinner women tend to be iffy. I’ve actually enjoyed my body being a little heavier personally and it’s helped weed out half the trash as a nice side effect. Men who ONLY like skinny or thin women tend to be iffy imo. I also put them through a series of intense questions and read through their answers like I’m a fucking crime detective to vet them. Shitty men still make it through every once in a while but I’ve definitely had sooooo much better luck!

TheFruitIndustry · 2025-09-26T15:34:33+00:00

In the past, I have been very kind to men and assumed the best of them, but I've recently learned that most of them are bad people and that the generosity I displayed in interpreting their behavior would inevitably lead me into danger.

You have to learn the same lesson and be cynical when interacting with men because they will use and abuse you while thinking nothing of it because it is normal behavior for men.

2025-09-26T14:16:15+00:00

I believe it and have heard other women share similar experiences.

torchbearer444 · 2025-09-26T14:25:47+00:00

enter every relationship cynically?

Yes. And I agree with the other commenter, you have a good read on the situation and you’re approaching this from the right angle, as frustrating as the reality may be.

The only other improvement you might be able to make is studying dark psychology so you can spot dark triad traits early on. Being highly intelligent makes you more of a target for covert manipulators because they see you as a challenge. The smarter you are, the more fun the game is to them.

Fair warning, once you delve deep into the world of psychology, you may never see things the same again. It’s a deep rabbit hole, and one that will open your eyes in a shocking way.

Robotgirl3 · 2025-09-26T16:40:23+00:00

I’ve always been a grouchy, complain-y, weird fat person. At one point in my life I was working out everyday and fit, thin people would constantly compliment over stupid things that made no sense, girls tried to be my friend and shit talk fat/ugly people too me and then get upset on why I’m defending those people “i thought you were cool” people at college would walk up to me and ask to be my friend then be weirded out when I like anime, complained a lot lol

Honestly the way I was treated was terrifying, I could never do wrong I was always so funny and constantly praised and I hated it.

crunchyricerolls · 2025-09-26T15:41:08+00:00

100%. The world doesn't know what do with a beautiful woman especially if she's educated/ doing great in life. It's almost as if you have to be one or the other. When I dressed more feminine I felt pressured to play up being ditzy otherwise both men and women would feel threatened.

Sittingonmyporch · 2025-09-26T16:18:44+00:00

Complete strangers are obsessed with humbling you. You activate their insecurities. Especially if you're an authentic genuine person. It's horrible. It's lonely, but lonely is safer.

Bobcatluv · 2025-09-26T17:44:07+00:00

He was willing to just hide forever apparently and mask his real views so long as he could keep romantic access to me

There’s a study popping in the psychology and science subreddits today, A woman’s political views are linked to the qualities she desires in a romantic partner, tldr if you’re a traditional woman you want a more traditional man and vice versa. Half the replies are, “well yeah people want to date people with the same political beliefs.”

The top comments on each of those replies is a woman sharing her experiences with Conservative men hiding their beliefs from them to get dates. Those comments are followed by people just flabbergasted that anyone would do that, so much so, that they started gaslighting these women, “are you sure you didn’t do anything to make him think you’re Conservative?” and one guy posting another study to say that women misinterpret Conservative behavior because we’re hysterical.

The only conclusion I can come to over this accepted practice by conservative men -but genuine surprise when you call them out- is that they’ve normalized their most toxic, predatory behavior into mere dating strategies. Of course you’d tell a girl on your first date and on through your first year dating that your political beliefs align with hers; you want her to like you, after all! Many of them don’t view us as serious participants in politics so they don’t mind going along with our silly little rights until they can lock us down with a child, which, btw, is prioritized over getting married first, according to a study of Gen Z men and women from earlier this month. So much for the sanctity of marriage.

buzaneagra · 2025-09-26T17:56:27+00:00

pretty privilege is basically when everyone wants to get in your pants and then gets mad if you don't let them... and that's how it feels on dating aps, they don't read your bio, they don't care, all they want is sex and then they get mad that you don't give it freely.

edit: because reading this comment it sounds like i think i'm the most beautiful maiden in the land. i think i'm cute like all women are, i have to take care of my looks because of my job (working with people and it's easier when you look good). i had a moment of being overweight and i can tell you that it was freeing because them men who hit on all the girls hoping that one will look at their pee pee left me alone. their attention is not something i want. i, like all of us, want genuine interest from a man for more than the way i look... i want the gentleman to take time to know me not just determine at a glance how fuckable he thinks i am. is that too much to ask?

Odd-Mastodon1212 · 2025-09-26T16:29:56+00:00

I don’t think anyone will be able to fool you for years. You are intelligent with strong boundaries. I would be choosy. Hold out for someone who feels like a best friend, who is easy to be around, and really loyal. Someone who brings you peace and joy.

My BFF is a model and her husband is someone who she admires and they share niche common interests and he has women friends and is particularly thoughtful, well read, genius level IQ, etc. I don’t know that she would have found him on the apps. She found him via the local music scene. I think that baseline of common interest helped.

waterhg · 2025-09-26T18:13:11+00:00

Similar to my experience. I don't understand why women have this bad name of being manipulators when men are... As they are.

They do not leave me alone. They lie and manipulate. They try to keep me around.

2025-09-26T22:07:30+00:00

Wow this has been every experience for me.

Men have told me I’m too smart for dating because I’ll pick up on their games. Literally.

So many people just want marriages to mentally torture someone because that’s what they’re used to.

Crazy because I did so much therapy so so much sacrifice in my 20s to understand my family problems and I’ve only attracted men that completely want to damage me and act toxic and then leave and say that I’m too good or pure for them and that they want someone like them like what the hell is this shit with dating?

I’ve had exes pursue me for eight months and then say that I’m too ugly to poor and my skin color is too dark for them. ‘ you’re not even a nice color of brown.’

I don’t know how to believe that I’m worth it to anyone anymore. I feel like with time maybe but I just will forever feel like I’m ugly no matter what I do now.

People are just effing terrible. You just have to keep dating multiple people and not have sex with any of them and see who sticks that’s all I can think of doing, but you’re right men do play in your face for years and years.

MLeek · 2025-09-26T13:53:26+00:00

It is really frustrating to experience that kind of change in how men treat women they see as an 'option' versus the ones they do not, but all in all I think you actually have a totally healthy and pretty balanced mentality here.

You are right: Someone who really wants to deceive you, might get away with it for a while. People also change, and someone who may have meant what they said 6 months ago, no longer does. That's not on you. Yes, this change may mean you need to be a bit more cynical and guarded than you were previously. Frustrating, but also realistic.

In the end you have to be able to extend some grace and benefit of the doubt to the person you do choose to date. (There is a degree of validation and co-regulation that both people should experience in a healthy relationship!) and If you can't swing that and feel secure, you stop dating them.

I'm sorry. I feel like this is all really unhelpful, because it does suck but also you've pretty much got it figured. It's not gonna stop sucking in this particular way, you just go out there with eyes and ears open and do your best with it. Sounds like you got that part covered to me.

HarryCaul · 2025-09-26T19:30:21+00:00

Have you ever listened to that old Robin Williams Interview on Late Night? The hosts asks, "So what's the secret to being happy?" Robin thinks for a second. Then he responds, cheekily but sincerely, "Be good looking." The audience laughs. Then he explains, yes it's funny, but it's actually not a joke. If you're good looking and attractive, people will be nice to you, take an interest in you, invite you to places, etc etc.

We're all just monkeys here, people.

GoodyGoobert · 2025-09-27T02:16:51+00:00

I’m fairly certain I’m autistic (I am a medical professional, but I cannot diagnose myself), and it’s night and day how you’re treated based on your size. When I was fat, I was left alone by the public which I was fine with because I enjoyed doing my own thing. What I hated most about being fat was the constant ridicule from my own family. When I lost the weight, people were approaching me to be friends, strangers were so nice and helpful and generous, and my behavior was now deemed “naive” and “cute” which was infantilizing. But I’ve also had people tell me I look arrogant now because I was quiet, but I was that way when I was fat, and no one called me that. I’ve had this phenomenon happen which I don’t know if anyone else maybe neurodivergent has experienced this, but I’ve had occasions when guys will start liking me romantically until they get to know me, and it’s like they know. It’s like they know that something is off and that attraction turns to hate? Disgust? I’ve had two separate occasions where two guys who had crushes on me would eventually turn on me, teasing my behaviors, and say “jokingly” that they hate me. I don’t know if I’m reading into this too much, but I get the feeling that they feel tricked? Like someone who looks like me shouldn’t be behaving the way I do and they feel…lied to? I don’t know. I just want to know how to stop attracting these types of guys. I also need to draw firm boundaries.

As for women, they were my friends before when I was fat and they’re friends now. I was friends with people who were not conventionally attractive, and they were so sweet and accepting of me. Some of my conventionally attractive friends I realized, however, were not laughing with me, but at me, which really hurt. Of course, not true for all of them, and it goes the other way too.

shitshowboxer · 2025-09-26T14:23:21+00:00

Yeah when people talk about pretty privilege, I'm like yeah lucky me I get lied to more. 🤷

2025-09-26T18:41:43+00:00

[removed]

misseff · 2025-09-26T19:00:38+00:00

I'm 39, 5'8", and I have been every weight from 130lbs to 250lbs due to a combo of hormonal issues and eating disorders and everything you've written her really resonated with me. I don't think there is a good solution. To be honest seeing the way the world in general treats me at different weights is permanently embittering, it's something I have to just not think about. There is a sweet spot where I am just "chubby" where the harassment is minimal and men don't go full scumbag mode and women are nice to me. But I know the exact weight at which men start pursuing me like I'm not even human, and the exact weight at which I become invisible. I don't have anything comforting to say but just know many of us have experienced this and sympathize.

CorporateDroneStrike · 2025-09-26T19:45:06+00:00

I am somehow conventionally attractive and I learned in college to moderate my emotional relationships win straight men. Just keeping a little distance and dialing down emotional intimacy does wonders for reducing Friend Zone Freakouts. (Now I’m married and it’s much easier.)

As for romantic relationships, I think the dedicated deception was less prominent when I was dating a 10+ years ago. But I did have an approach to screening prior to dating.

First, use average pics for the apps and dress lazily for first dates. You want someone who will be excited to wake up to your bad breath and no make up, not someone who is only interested in your hottest version.

Second, my aggressive/honest/yourself in the descriptions and interactions. Your problem is that you are too appealing to the wrong men, so put less effort into being appealing. At some point in my 20s, I realized my (terrible) personality would be the dealbreaker and not my looks. I needed to let them see the personality right away and decide it wasn’t my worth it. Just lean into your weirdest, loudest, most yourself vibe. Think about the version of yourself that your best friend loves — that woman is needs to shine through.

Third, all the stuff that exposed your last boyfriend, do it earlier. Share a cartoon about emotional labor, challenge one of his opinions, correct him when he says something wrong, ask detailed questions about politics, be inconvenient, and take up equal space in the relationship. Women are socialized to defer to men and be nice and amiable. Don’t be cruel, rude, or unethical but just stop playing the nice girl. Don’t accommodate men more than you’d accommodate a female friend.

The only other thing is actions over words. People can parrot the right things at lot longer than they can do the right things. I would scrutinize your relationship with your ex for unfairness and inequality. Did you always end up watching shows he liked, did you end up going to restaurants he liked, did his needs and wants come first in all the little ways? Was he a good caring brother and son? Did he make comments about female friends, coworkers, bosses, or celebrities? Did he remember stuff that was important to him and forget stuff that was important to you?

Think of your ex as a scientific case study of a the long conman and log the traits/behaviors. Then keep an eye out as you date going forward. You’ll be able to spot his ilk pretty easily.

Good luck!

Rayden117 · 2025-09-27T11:49:51+00:00

Letting men steer the political conversation and not letting them ‘respond’ to your views is one way.

Think about it, it’s data, hint is there, then respond = mirroring. It’s the same way you find flatterers, you send a couple test balloons to see how they respond.

The easiest way is to take an issue your counter culture on your within own political aisle, supply a limited number of those issues interspersed in your conversation and see how they extrapolate eventually over a few dates.

It’s a litmus test but for this to work it has to be an active passive conversation. You’re actively engaging in introducing a topic, giving your read, watching for matching concensus and it’s passive in that your not overtly steering the conversation, just dropping hints or topics to see what’s engaged with, what words or terms are used, if they agree and get them to extrapolate.

There are tons of topics with nuance to detect these people, comedians, bring up an insult comedian who made you laugh surprising yourself, Covid a whole two year period, there are brief nuanced takes in that window, tofu/vegan food someone who dismisses new food misses out on good food.

The last one is a newer but in general, people who are closed or not wanting to know you will fail these litmus tests or alternatively you will use them as negative or positive qualifiers to find your match should you fall inline with the closeted views were guarding against.

And if your culinarily inclined or a foodie, truly, you don’t give a damn about tofu, it’s an ingredient and at that it’s excellent for merging flavor profiles and unique. Good food is good food and I eat all food. I will die on this last hill. Anyways, that’s my take and recommendation.

TLDR: Embracing the controversial strategically is a good way to weed people out.

WeHaveTheMeeps · 2025-09-26T18:54:51+00:00

You mentioned you were an engineer. I had a similar weight loss experience and was an engineer.

I was laid off and kept getting brought in for interviews at this one company through a male “friend.” At the time I needed work, so I kinda suffered through it.

He kept saying “she’s so talented. I want her here!” He seemed too… passionate and nice which raised alarm bells, but I didn’t listen to my gut.

At one point after many interviews with primarily men, an interviewer showed up drunk and spilled the tea. No subtlety or anything

“Oh <guy> was right. I do enjoy looking at you.”

I left and did not sign out. I did not respond to the guy at all. Blocked him.

He made some LinkedIn posts about ungrateful people.

Another friend of mine has been buying me gifts and random shit for about 7 years now. I even asked him to stop. He probably spent a thousand dollars on me.

He got divorced last year and then sent me a message letting me know that “it’s our time now.”

I’m fucking married.

Few_Sale_3064 · 2025-09-27T00:04:59+00:00

Men will smile to an attractive woman's face but act the same way jealous women do - they'll gossip and get envious. Yes, men can be so egocentric they feel envy of a beautiful woman if they feel ugly or don't get enough attention themselves. They also think pretty women are spoiled and get everything handed to them easily.

Then you've got the incel types who hate attractive women on sight because they assume they'd be rejected by her. Being beautiful in a patriarchy isn't as great in reality as it's made out to be.

KindeTrollinya · 2025-09-27T00:24:27+00:00

Applying rhetoric as in Burned Haystack Dating Method? Good on ya, mate!!

2025-09-27T01:10:22+00:00

Relatable

ChopsticksImmortal · 2025-09-27T09:36:21+00:00

It may be easier to, early on, ask people what they think about x topic (Trump, guns, abortion, religion, vaccines, joe rogan, etc) without giving up what you think for the opportunity for them to lie their agreement.

But i also have dated and have no interest, so who knows if this is practical. Sorry youre going through this! Being single is also an option, and cats are cute

Honest-Elk-7300 · 2025-09-27T11:50:14+00:00

this person was never my friend, was just waiting around for me to become sexually available, and when he realized I would NEVER be sexually available to him turned on me in an instant.

This is happened yo me SO MANY TIMES. It had destroyed career opportunities and has made it so I’ve had to move from entire communities. The entitlement people have felt over me my whole life!

UseWeekly4382 · 2025-09-27T20:01:49+00:00

This is one of the main reasons I adore getting older. However, even then the premise remains, but it’s just not as apparent in literally most interactions with men anymore.

Yes, I would enter each relationship cautiously. Maybe cynically isn’t the right word, but maybe it is. lol. Attractive women are viewed as commodities by men, generally speaking.

Look at it this way. You have a HUGE advantage because you are very aware of this. You also have a confidence that is beyond your looks. This is a big deal, and a lot of people want this. It will serve you well.

I date women here and there. I find the very attractive ones essentially expect you to bow down/excuse certain behaviors. I always tell them, “I’m not a man.” I’m not super wooed by looks, and I don’t drastically change my behavior or my standards due to looks.

I say this to show how most people, regardless of sex, will act a lot differently (or expect different treatment) due to looks alone.

Pentence · 2025-09-26T20:37:12+00:00

Read over this and some replies and just wanted to say , hot damn. You did something very hard bettering yourself and also have some awesome things under your belt many would envy. Just an internet stranger but damn im proud of you.

It sucks wading through the superfical, even men have to from time to time. I had veneers made while im saving for implants. ( health issue caused teeth issues) The women who didn't want to date me before suddenly do.

One gal whom even told me she could never date me with my messed up teeth but loved me as a person changed her mind when I worked out and had put up some new insta pics.

Sometimes i dont wear them just to see the reactions and its wild. Same people suddenly become distant.

Godspeed on finding a good partner.

DescriptionFancy420 · 2025-09-26T22:39:59+00:00

To add to all of your very valid complaints, it's nearly impossible to make (femme-attracted) male friends because all they want is the opportunity to have sex with/date me, or, less gross but still a negative, use me for the perceived status of having someone "attractive" in their social group.

And also even when they may not actively be trying to manipulate you, I noticed a lot of males would think they liked me, often put me on a pedestal, and then eventually realize oh that was just physical attraction. They're really not very emotionally intelligent.

Blondiepoo95 · 2025-09-26T15:38:12+00:00

Sometimes I have to remind myself that we are part of the animal kingdom. Animal urges still control and rule over a lot of people, even though we are capable of a higher consciousness

fiahhawt · 2025-09-26T19:29:32+00:00

Ehhh I've always found that "pretty privilege" isn't all that privileged.

If you are a shallow, manipulative type of person then being attractive is a bonus because you can gratify yourself easily, and to an extent have a leg up in influencing people to give you what you want.

If you are this side of sane, it just means a lot more unsavory people who are willing to express wanting something from you that you aren't offering, and people who hate you for what you have being willing to treat you unkindly and unfairly b/c your face clearly gives you so much in life.

Let's be clear: if you aren't the kind of attractive that means modeling agencies will pay you money, then your attractiveness is a moderating effect on your life outcomes at best.

ShaarkShaart · 2025-09-26T19:45:00+00:00

You're never stupid or less smart for being manipulated. It's on the people who go through the effort of manipulating and deceiving you, because that's insane behavior. You can learn the signs and piece it together when the lies don't match, but you can't predict what these guys will lie about. It's 100% on them and the bullshit they're trying to pull. I'm sorry.

danceoftheplants · 2025-09-26T23:14:25+00:00

Yeah it's weird. I did the opposite and I kind of love the frump? Lol haha. I mean, I know being fat isn't good for your health, but I'm happier, feel like I can be 100% myself, and I'm so much more confident talking to whoever.

When I was thin and attractive, I agree 100% its SO creepy and frustrating.. they literally do agree with anything you say!! And they are always trying to have a sexual edge to any relationship. I was always paranoid about peoples' motives and insecure at the same time. I never felt like I would be accepted as the nerdy person inside.

At first it was really hard to mentally come to terms with weight gain and body changes after having children. I was upset and so worried about what that meant for me and a future relationship with whoever - like would they ever really be attracted to me looking like this? My self-esteem was never good enough when I was young and attractive.

But the best thing in the world happened. I just started doing things for myself and learned to love me and accept my body. Then I met someone who didn't care about any of that. Now I'm in my 30's and I'm in a better mental place than I ever was before!

Just knowing that people will treat me as a fat, regular person and more respect has me ok with how I look. Men rarely have ulterior motives for talking to me, and i'm basically ignored except for the random eye contact/glances from strangers. No jealous or petty girls/women going out of their way to ruin my day for no reason now that I'm not a threat to them.

Conversely, my friend lost over 100 lbs like you, and he was telling me how much friendlier people are to him now. He was shocked that some young woman held the door open for him. He's able to go on dates and he's excited about it lol. So who even knows.

Sorry that you're dealing with that.. maybe you couldpost pics from when you were fat or without any makeup to get the realest matches? Lol i did the full body, worst angles and no makeup pics and that's how I met my partner lol. He said I seemed nice so he figured he'd talk to me. You could try that method lil

peachie_keeen · 2025-09-26T23:06:36+00:00

Yes the lying hurts so much. But I don’t think it’s looks in my case. It’s just a fact of working. I’d like some honesty and trust. They don’t have to tell me anything all they have to do is say, that’s not your responsibility at the moment but you’re doing great with everything you’re working on. Instead of lying. For instance I was told that going out one door would set off an alarm. This was a lie. Then I was told that they didn’t have a certain tool. Also a lie. It’s painful. My boss lies all day to people we care for, when it isn’t that hard to simply switch topics and still be telling the truth. But to do it to a functioning employee. Painful, disrespectful. You’d think they could invest a little effort into someone steady, right?

marthebruja · 2025-09-27T15:10:35+00:00

I used to weigh 300 lb and I was always in love with this friend of mine who told me he saw me as only a sister. Then I lost the weight (180 lb in total) and he himself admitted I was gorgeous and finally asked me out... only to treat me like utter shit our whole relationship. What made me wake up, was when I was complaining about my relationship with a friend, and she told me "How come he only paid attention to you when you got skinny? You were worthy of love too when you were fat. What's up with that?" And I was finally able to let go of the crush I had on him and never talk to him ever again. I've had too many guys string me along since then, even another relationship with this guy who told me he wanted to take care of me (never stopped calling me a gold digger tho) and wanted to have a family (I saw him on a dating app when we broke up, claiming to be child-free. Make it make sense?). My dating life truly is ass and I have given up lmao.

MyFiteSong · 2025-09-27T06:53:50+00:00

Now you know why the women who hate men the most are usually the ones who got the most male attention, not the ones who were denied it.

Ok-Cardiologist8651 · 2025-09-26T21:07:27+00:00

If everything you are reporting is true then perhaps a relationship with a man is worth a great deal less than many women think? If the majority of them are just lying their way through to whatever it is they want then where is this perceived value in having a supposed 'deep connection' with a man? Because if a relationship is based on lies.......? You know?

Brief_Tennis_2807 · 2025-09-26T21:49:12+00:00

the difference between being treated like a person vs a sex object. women over 50 have been saying for a long time how relieving it is to be free of that. now that i’m in my 20s i feel the pressure lessening as compared to when i was in my teens but yh. being good-looking comes with a lot of tears shed

plant-man · 2025-09-26T20:37:52+00:00

I’m curious was there any indication that he was being insincere before you got to that point?

Your situation just goes to show you how there’s difficulty to be found on every point of the beauty spectrum.

I’m a guy and I’ll be the first to admit this is not our finest moment as a group. I’m afraid most of your encounters will be like that but there are sincere, emotionally smart men who treasure real, deep, connection out there. I personally feel like becoming cynical about love kills a little bit of our soul so I wouldn’t if I were you. Which is not to say be naive.

I’m still going at it; every time I fall in love it feels profound. Now I just need to find a woman who doesn’t live in another country.

2025-09-26T20:30:14+00:00

Reddit silences lesbians.


/r/Women	/r/TheGirlSurvivalGuide
/r/AskWomen	/r/feemagers
All Womanhood	/r/PCOS
/r/Fashion	/r/femalefashionadvice
/r/ABraThatFits	All Fashion
/r/MakeupAddiction	/r/RedditLaqueristas
/r/FancyFollicles	All Beauty
STEM Ladies	All Careers
/r/GirlGamers	/r/TrollXChromosomes
/r/EntWives	All Hobbies & Fun
/r/BodyAcceptance	/r/xxfitness
/r/TwoXSex	All Relationships
/r/feminism	All Activism
/r/actuallesbians	All LGBT
/r/birthcontrol	Abortion Support
/r/childfree	All Birth Control
/r/BabyBumps	/r/TryingForABaby
/r/Mommit	All Parenthood
/r/LadyBoners	/r/ladyladyboners

you type:	you see:
italics	italics
bold	bold
[reddit!](https://reddit.com)	reddit!
* item 1 * item 2 * item 3	item 1 item 2 item 3
> quoted text	quoted text
Lines starting with four spaces are treated like code: if 1 * 2 < 3: print "hello, world!"	Lines starting with four spaces are treated like code: if 1 * 2 < 3: print "hello, world!"
~~strikethrough~~	~~strikethrough~~
super^script	super^script

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