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I almost lost my ovary because three doctors told me I was "just anxious" about period cramps (self.TwoXChromosomes)

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[–][deleted]  (169 children)

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    [–]Herrena1 398 points399 points  (24 children)

    I don't have tattoos, piercings (besides ears) nor have I broken a bone. But I have had my fair share of periods , around 200 of them. I have them even with IUD. I am currently laying on the bed with hot water bottle + painkillers and I hate it. If anyone told me I am mistaking any of other pains for period pain, I think I would lose it at them and scream too. Like, I have had this pain monthly over half of my life. I know unfortunately EXACTLY what it feels like from the first moments. It's not like I get magically different period pains after 16 years. If I'm saying it's not a period pain, then it's not a period pain, ffs.

    [–]Ecstatic-Manager-149 82 points83 points  (15 children)

    Bugger, them are nasty periods xxx

    Plesse tell me someone has checked you for endo/ando?

    I hope you feel better soon xxx

    [–]Herrena1 89 points90 points  (13 children)

    Of course not! They say "well it's not like we could do anything anyways. The surgeries have complication and don't work longterm anyways. Unless it is hindering your fertility, we arenot going to do anything (I'm unsure on children, leaning no). Take painkillers". Multiple different doctors. 

    Last time I got a possibile POCS diagnosis on chart without a single word being said during the appointment. Due to other issues in my life, I haven't managed to get myself together to go and have it checked out by a different doctor. 

    [–]MeinePerle 86 points87 points  (3 children)

    I had endometriosis that was discovered while I was getting my tubes tied.  They lasered the cysts off and my (comparatively mild) cramps disappeared for ten years.  (When the fibroids showed up, yay.  I take low-dose birth control pills and no longer have a period.)

    My point is, surgery helped for ten years, which made a huge impact on my quality of life.  Medication now does the same.  Please try another doctor.

    [–]FMLwtfDoID 48 points49 points  (0 children)

    10 years of no or lessened pain is such a long time, honestly. Like that’s all of high school and college and a few years or young adulthood. That time opens up SO MANY DOORS AND OPPORTUNITIES that would or could have otherwise been missed due to pain and suffering from those gynecological disorders.

    [–]gameofgroans_ 10 points11 points  (1 child)

    I’m sorry for piggybacking on this, I’ve just had a lap to look for endo and got told it’s negative except they found a small cyst they left. You’re saying they burnt your cysts off? They’ve refused to treat mine and said it’s not causing the pain anyway it’s probably just periods (like OP I don’t have them because of the IUD).

    For a measure of the pain, the pain after the lap has been fine for me because I feel like I go through worse most days anyway.

    [–]MeinePerle 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    That’s what they told me, but I was groggy from anesthesia and it was a quarter century ago. :)

    I’m sorry for your pain.  I hope you can find a doctor who will help.

    [–]akela9 17 points18 points  (0 children)

    I had to fight tooth and nail to get it, had to fuck up my body with hormonal birth control that made me indescribably sick and crazy, but I finally shouted my (female, btw) OB into performing a uterine ablation. It's been one of the best things to happen in my life.

    Now obviously I don't know if this would be a good option for you, and it also depends on what you're hoping to do as far as children are concerned, but if you're done with or have no desire to have kiddos it might be worth looking into? I'm so sorry you're suffering. It's ridiculous nobody will hear us.

    [–]Ecstatic-Manager-149 9 points10 points  (2 children)

    Well, now I'm swearing on your behalf, too!

    What the actual feck?!

    I'd like to get oneof tbosemachines that can mimic period pain, and turn it up to mqtch your pain whilst saying to them "Take some ibuprofen. It's perfectly normal. You ckearly have a low pain tolerance..." and every other bullsh*t they've spouted.

    I don't know where any of them got their audicity, but they need to put it the f*ck back.

    [–]Herrena1 10 points11 points  (1 child)

    The best is how they try to convince me to have children at the same time. What if I have a girl? I'm not potentially putting another woman though this shit. Fuck off or give me a proper medical care (and I'm in Europe, not in US aswell... ) 

    [–]Ecstatic-Manager-149 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    Ggggggrrrrrrrrrrrr!

    I hope you find a doctor who will listen to you and gwt you the help you need xxx

    [–]sassy-blue 22 points23 points  (1 child)

    Highly recommend trying different doctors. Ideally a obgyn who specialized in endo. And don't leave without an ultrasound. 

    I was gaslight for years about my pain and told debilitating cramps, incontinence, chronic constipation, painful sex, etc was normal, could be resolved with vitamins, and it was all part of getting older (i was in my late 20s so not old at all). I was refused an ultrasound  by multiple PCPs. Found an obgyn who immediately scheduled me for an ultrasound and found a fibroid larger than my uterus. 

    Anyways, got that removed knowing it probably only buys me 5-10 years. The lack of severe cramps and not waking up at 3am to pee each night is totally worth it. 

    [–]Herrena1 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    I have had it checked by multiple doctors and I will likely continue. Just slowly, no need to burn myself out with that either. I have had ultrasounds regularly. That's also how I got the PCOS potential diagnosis. 

    [–]feministandally 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    A friend of mine got as many refills of the pill as she could then told her Dr she wanted to get pregnant and was worried endometriosis was going to fuck with her fertility. Fucked up that she had to lie to get excision surgery but it worked.

    [–]LivePanda7804 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    what country are you in?

    [–]CatClover 12 points13 points  (0 children)

    I had debilitating period pains. Finally diagnosed with endo in my late 30's. Ffs. No one listens. I had my tubes out and not keep a nuvaring in continuous. It controls the endo. Thank goodness for that.

    [–]fiddlercrabs 33 points34 points  (1 child)

    That's what got me when I was misdiagnosed with what turned out to be multiple blood clots that worked their way to my lungs. After 3 months of constantly going to the ER to find out why my leg was swelling and painful (nothing shown on ultrasound, wouldn't do MRI because I had no insurance), I wasn't able to take a full satisfying breath. Walking a couple feet made me winded. I knew something was wrong.

    But no, they said it was anxiety. The thing I've dealt with all my life, that I know how it manifests in me. They tried to convince me that after leg pain, I was just feeling anxious. It surely felt like my body was screaming that something was wrong, and only getting worse. I finally wound up being admitted to another hospital, in the ICU for 4 days with two large clots in my leg and multiple clots in my lungs.

    [–]babutterfly 47 points48 points  (2 children)

    And if period pains are suddenly magically different, that's a problem! It should be looked into no matter what. It shouldn't be dismissed whether it's a period or not.

    [–]SequenceGoon 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    EXACTLY!!!

    [–]NECalifornian25 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    THIS!

    I am blessed with light periods and typically mild cramps. Some worse than others, but within a normal range. Once I had one that was NOT normal. Couldn’t stand up straight from the pain, bleeding so heavy I could watch it streaming out, way beyond anything I’d had before. It turned out to just be a decidual cast, so nothing harmful, but extremely painful and terrifying. I had no idea they were a thing, so when I popped out a mass of tissue (not blood clots, tissue) I thought it was a cancerous tumor.

    I’m pretty sure the nurse I saw the next day hadn’t heard of them either, by the way she reacted to the picture I took. She was almost as concerned as I was. Just highlights the quality of sex education and concern for women’s health we have here in the US. 🙄

    [–]octopusboots 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    I calculated I have had 1,188 days of extreme pain managed with narcotics and nsaids because I didn't find someone who would help me until I was in my 40's. Don't be me. Find someone who can help you.

    [–]JojoCruz206[🍰] 154 points155 points  (1 child)

    If you hadn’t screamed, you would not have gotten the right treatment. Your mom is downplaying it for whatever reason - I’m sorry that this is her response. I’m glad you are doing better and I’m so sorry this is how you were treated.

    It’s probably been recommended here by others, but I’d suggest reporting all these doctors to the state medical board (assuming you are in the US), as well as reporting to the hospital where they work AND reporting the hospital to whatever regulator agency they are under (again, I’m assuming you are in the US - this is either The Joint Commission or DNV). It might not feel like it does anything, but it does - it keeps a spotlight on that provider’s care and is kept on their record. You will probably get a response along the lines of it being about the physician’s clinical judgement and therefore they cannot comment on your care.

    I’m a nurse but I have worked in quality/patient safety/risk management for years. It’s insane to me that this is the world we live in 2025 but unfortunately every day I see similar cases of women getting dismissed because their pain is either attributed to anxiety or because they are “over exaggerating.” I hope you have a speedy and uneventful recovery.

    Edited to add: thank you for sharing your story. I always appreciate hearing these stories as it brings more awareness.

    [–]babutterfly 33 points34 points  (0 children)

    A lot of people downplay things when the end comes out positive. They may not want to ignore the bad things that happen, but they seem to focus on moving on rather than actually processing.

    [–]Unlucky-Guidance5151 104 points105 points  (15 children)

    I’m a med student. If i presented your first visit to an attending one of the first things I’d say is we need a pelvic ultrasound to rule out ovarian torsion. It’s not uncommon. It’s one of the first things we were taught for the differential of emergent abdominal pain in anyone with ovaries. Definitely insane

    [–]_perl_ 40 points41 points  (0 children)

    You're totally right. I worked in the ER as a NP for a long time doing psych consults. Those doctors are *horrific* at anything remotely having to deal with gynecology but you'd think they'd be pretty damn good at evaluating abdominal pain of any origin. Hell, I got scanned once and I was FOS (and mortified - literally it's been only ER visit of my life). It was some kind of colitis but still - I was in no way experiencing as much pain as OP. It's absurd that nobody caught this.

    [–]volyund 41 points42 points  (8 children)

    Why isn't workup for ovarian torsion on women presenting to ER with severe pain in the lower abdomen not standard?

    [–]Lisa8472 40 points41 points  (2 children)

    Why was right abdominal pain not checked for appendicitis?

    [–]volyund 16 points17 points  (0 children)

    It was when I presented to urgent care with it. It was appendicitis....

    [–]knewleefe 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    My first thought too...

    [–]goingslowlymad87 27 points28 points  (0 children)

    If a guy turned up and said "I have a slight twinge in my testicle" he'd be seen straight away. Testicular torsion isn't common but they know how to treat that.

    [–]Vamboose 17 points18 points  (0 children)

    It is. This is a shit hospital with shit doctors. A female with these symptoms is going to have either ovarian torsion, appendicitis, or a ruptured ovarian cyst, all of which usually require surgery. I would say these doctors shouldn't be practicing medicine.

    [–]Unlucky-Guidance5151 13 points14 points  (1 child)

    It honestly is standard from my knowledge. I have no way to explain OP’s experience

    [–]Trans Manill-independent 11 points12 points  (0 children)

    The explanation is misogyny.

    [–]SequenceGoon 24 points25 points  (4 children)

    Could this be because you're a current student?
    In my experience as a patient, with medical professionals, the students/younger/recent grads tend to pick up on things more & are less dismissive if you're not a man.

    My GP (general practitioner, term we use in Australia) is fairly young & he's incredible - recently met a doctor he studied with - also super good & so respectful despite the fact that I'm not a man! The bar is so low!

    This includes mental health - I'd pretty much given up on seeing a psychologist, tried again this year & my current one is great, which I put down to them being more aware of women's health due to their education finally being more nuanced & researched in that area

    [–]Unlucky-Guidance5151 31 points32 points  (3 children)

    I’m a male, actually currently on my OBGYN rotation— all I can tell you is I’d probably be disciplined if I told a patient that they had a different pain tolerance or something as a woman. It’s pretty wild. It’s important to listen and always give the benefit of the doubt so you don’t kill people. Menstrual pain without a specific cause (dysmenorrhea) is a diagnosis sure, but you can only give that after exhausting other possibilities. And even then, women know what their menstrual pain feels like. And in the ED, you at least need to rule out the ones that kill people. How multiple doctors missed that is without explanation

    [–]LinwoodKei 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    Thank you. It's good to see that you understand how to treat people in pain and don't see whining women

    [–]Mrs_JDizzle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Thank you for being understanding and empathetic. We need more doctors of the new generations who can hopefully replace the doctors who dismiss women as overreacting or their symptoms just being “stress or anxiety.” One thing I have learned from my own horrendous experiences (PCOS, infertility, endometriomas on my ovaries, hysterectomy where they discovered sever endo, etc.) is that women tend to know their own bodies pretty well. What many of us DON’T know how to do, or have been discouraged from doing, is to advocate for ourselves - especially to authority figures like doctors.

    I would encourage you to stay open minded and supportive of your patients, and never be dismissive of their experiences. Also, please be cautious of bias when treating patients who are overweight or obese. We get dismissed EVEN MORE than women of average weight. Fat women have real problems too, and we so often are told to lose weight, regardless of what prob we present with.

    [–]LivePanda7804 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    hope you have a long and great career! we need more male docs like you!

    [–]chammycham 84 points85 points  (4 children)

    I’m shaking angry for you.

    I’m so exhausted seeing stories like this. Every fucking day.

    [–]NvGable 27 points28 points  (3 children)

    Its even more fun when they tell you it is in your head, and try to give you anti-depressants, instead of doing a simple ultrasound.

    [–]knewleefe 15 points16 points  (2 children)

    That's what I don't get - the US health system seems to ration ultrasounds like they're powered by angel tears or something. But if you're paying for it anyway, why do they care so much? Is it an insurance thing? Can you not just pay the sticker price for an ultrasound out of your own pocket if they're being so difficult about very basic, frequently performed diagnostic imaging? Are people treated differently if they arrive by ambulance? Because OP with that level of pain and resulting mobility issues, I would have called an ambulance, but again, seems to not happen much in the US? Do you have to pay for those as well?

    [–]chammycham 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    The answers to many of these are multifold, but generally:

    Medical sexism Ambulances do cost money, and may take you to a hospital that doesn’t take your insurance Insurance is basically a racket I cannot emphasize enough the medical sexism.

    I am very fortunate that somehow, I have received excellent medical care as an adult, particularly gynecological care, and I live in Texas.

    [–]opulentSandwich 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    This is sort of a tangent, but there really is no "sticker price" for a lot of medical care in the US. Health care providers have inflated the cost of care so they can get a halfway reasonable amount of money from insurances, because in order to negotiate contracts with these insurance companies they end up getting their compensation for certain treatments whittled down, often to rediculously low amounts since the insurance companies can more easily take their ball and go home. The "self pay" price then is based on what they have to tell the insurance companies a procedure costs BEFORE these negotiations. That's why you hear of people in the US calling hospitals for an itemized bill when they're uninsured, and getting back the craziest shit like $35 for a bandage.

    [–]Illustrious_Owl_3804 67 points68 points  (2 children)

    In medical negligence lawsuits- they look for four things. First- they look to see if duty was owed to the patient. In this case, the patient has an established patient doctor relationship. Second, they look to see if there was a breech in standards of care- the first two doctors failed to assess properly. Third, the breach of standards of care caused harm- the patient in this case deteriorated as she began to experience loss of function in her leg as her ovary worsened and became more infarcted. Fourth- the breech of duty caused harm which resulted in injury- the patient in this case needed emergency surgery which was delayed because of failure to identify earlier, and now the patient will have permanent complications to that ovary.

    This is very lawsuit worthy.

    [–]hedibet 14 points15 points  (0 children)

    Thank you. This screamed lawsuit to me as well, but I am not a medical malpractice attorney. OP: please file a claim against the first three doctors, and see if you can add deliberate gender discrimination as a multiplying factor. We need to use the law to remove medical professionals that do harm.

    [–]Ummmgummy 64 points65 points  (0 children)

    My wife had basically an identical thing happen to her. She ended up losing an ovary but the amount of old ass male doctors acting like she was over reacting was pretty insane.

    [–]badgersister1 51 points52 points  (1 child)

    My daughter at the age of 11 was in such terrible abdominal pain that at the ER they removed (a perfectly healthy) appendix. A month later she was writhing in pain again! No, it was not her period, it was over a week past her period. We saw three gynaecologists, and all we got was how it’s natural, and I was on over-reacting mother, ignoring that she did not have her period when it was happening! The last one was dismissive too until my daughter had an attack while in the office. She turned grey, collapsed and said “mommy, it’s too much. please help me die!” THEN the doc said, this is not dysmenorrhea! She had two uteruses, one which had no outlet and was twisting the other and her ovary. If the first doctor had looked around before just taking out her appendix, he would have seen it and saved her years of pain. She had a partial hysterectomy and the hospital asked permission to film it for educational purposes.

    [–]fragilitylogistics 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Asking to film it after so much dismissal is insane

    [–]Faiakishi 42 points43 points  (0 children)

    "It's rare that we see ovarian torsion" in the same vein as "it's rare that the ER gets car crash victims who weren't wearing their seatbelts."

    [–]_LadyHank 42 points43 points  (0 children)

    I hate this on so many levels and so sorry it has to get to that point to be heard.

    Please please please contact patient relations at every hospital you went to. It likely won’t make a difference for you, but hopefully it can make a difference for the future.

    Those doctors are all probably sitting at home feeling fine that they sent another person home with menstrual pain, and need to be informed otherwise.

    [–]jimthesquirrelking 41 points42 points  (0 children)

    I'm a massage therapist. Women are almost across the board tougher to pain and pressure than men in my experience. I've always credited that to dealing with minor to severe muscle pain a quarter of their young to middle aged adult lives. 

    [–]cool. coolcoolcool.twoisnumberone 44 points45 points  (0 children)

    would I just be dead right now because no one took me seriously

    Possible. It was a while ago, but my female cousin died because no one took her seriously until it was too late. We weren't close, she and I, but from my parents I heard that she went to the ER with abdominal pain and was sent away again. The next time she was almost comatose, and when they opened her up they found the necrosis of the intestinal torsion (!) had progressed beyond the point of no return. She died the same day.

    [–]r4ttenk0nig 64 points65 points  (3 children)

    Your mum could do with putting her empathy chip back in, too. WTH.

    [–]Judgemental_Carrot 18 points19 points  (0 children)

    Honestly if someone said that to me after this experience I’d be entirely done with them. Who needs enemies when you have family like that.

    [–]BaroqueGorgon 20 points21 points  (1 child)

    Right?! I can't imagine saying something like that to my (fictional) daughter if she had such a frightening and upsetting experience.

    [–]r4ttenk0nig 13 points14 points  (0 children)

    Me neither! I’d be worried about them and furious over what just happened! Especially as another woman.

    [–]utahspicy666 45 points46 points  (1 child)

    Maybe it's just my womanly brain talking, but dying seems more dramatic than screaming to me...

    Snark aside, I'm very sorry you were treated this way OP. ~10 years ago I had a friend almost get the cops called on her because the ER thought she was "exhibiting drug-seeking behavior" when she went in with ovarian torsion. She lost her ovary :(

    [–]Jerseygirl2468 17 points18 points  (0 children)

    Right?
    "You're right, mom, next time I wont' scream, I'll just sit there quietly until I pass away."

    [–]buddrball 23 points24 points  (0 children)

    I’m so sorry that the people who are supposed to be your support system are failing you. You’ve been through a traumatic medical ordeal, both for the torsion/urgent surgery AND the medical neglect. Your support system should be in your corner right now.

    When I had a stillbirth, I was told by a friend (who is also an OB) that these traumas will force you to find out who is there to support you in the way you need, and it will surprise you with people who utterly disappoint you. I was very glad I had that warning because it was true, and still is true more than a year later. If possible, give yourself space from the people who aren’t helping, and surround yourself with those who are. When you’re ready, tell them how you need to be supported and that what they said before was actively hurting you. (Or you could ask your boyfriend to explain it to them.) Be prepared for defensiveness. People just truly don’t know how to act and ultimately make things worse. I’m sorry, and I hope your healing from surgery goes well. Hugs

    [–]GlowUpper 18 points19 points  (0 children)

    Girl, I'm so sorry this happened to you. How many of us have these stories and yet doctors never seem to fucking learn to take us seriously? I nearly died because a doctor wouldn't take my severe abdominal pain seriously and tried to discharge me. I had a ruptured stomach ulcer and was in septic shock and he still looked at me and said it was probably gas. My husband (yeah, a man so they would listen to him) had to scream at him to do a CAT scan before he reluctantly ordered one. And it's terrifying to think how many women have died because they don't have a man to be their advocate.

    [–]NeverRolledA20IRL 25 points26 points  (0 children)

    Your boyfriend took you seriously and trusted you over doctors. Give him a high five from me.

    [–]Snoo_88674 22 points23 points  (2 children)

    When I was 18 years old, I went to a doctor for stomach pain that would become anywhere from very painful to completely debilitating after I ate, depending on what I ate and difficulty going to the bathroom.

    The doctor kept asking me questions about my period. The same questions over and over again. I kept telling him my period didn't affect the pain at all. He told me it was period cramps, and I need to "get used to it."

    It took me 10 years to get a diagnosis after that appointment. It only happened when I stopped seeing GPs and went straight to a gastro without a referral. Luckily, she was AMAZING. First thing she said after listening to me was, "I'm really glad you're here." It was so valadating. She ran a ton of tests. Turns out I have crohn's. Very severe crohns. She couldn't believe I was even functional with the amount of inflammation.

    After many immune suppressants, I now am on a high level of medication and recently got an ostomy bag because of all of the scarring left from it being untreated for so long. I also have developed other immune conditions, which could be from the high levels of untreated inflammation in my body for so long. No way to tell for sure, but my life could be very different right now if I was just listened to.

    Woman have a lower pain tolerance is BS. I broke two bones in my arm at 13 and it took two days to realize something was wrong. I only realized because I suddenly couldn't swim anymore. Like I couldn't pull my arm back in the water and was like well that's not good.

    Having a man explain to me how periods feel while i was having a serious medical health problem was probably the most demeaning moment of my life. To have it happen while literally dying, personally I don't think you yelled enough.

    [–]daleturk 6 points7 points  (1 child)

    It's wild how long it can take to get proper care when doctors just dismiss symptoms. Glad you finally found a good gastro who listened. It's frustrating that so many of us have to go through this just to be taken seriously.

    [–]Snoo_88674 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    It really is. It's awful when all it takes is someone actually listening to you and a couple of tests, and you can't even get that.

    [–]All Hail Notorious RBGCobwartsRavenblues 15 points16 points  (0 children)

    I am so mad for you. I hope you heal fully from this.

    [–]Sepelrastas 34 points35 points  (4 children)

    I'm also not very sensitive to pain. I once fractured my toe at work and walked home with it. Next morning, my toe was so swollenI could barely put my shoes on.

    I had a continual mild ache in my wrist. Went to doctor several times. Got mild painkillers (ibuprofen, when I told them I'd rather have paracetamol, as ibuprofen doesn't do anything for me) and got called neurotic. Finally after over a year got a referral to a surgeon and got a MRI. Most of the bones in my palm and the tips of my radius and ulna were stressed to the point of pulverizing. 6 months sick leave and strict order to do absolutely nothing with my right hand. Also my FCR tendon is split right in the middle, so inoperable.

    Wouldn't have been so bad if I'd gotten more than a cursory exam the first time. Instead I got strung out 2 years and almost lost all bones in my dominant hand.

    [–]FreeBeans 1 point2 points  (3 children)

    Whoa, what caused that??

    [–]Sepelrastas 1 point2 points  (2 children)

    Prolonged irritation from work. I used to work in a store and had to lift a lot of heavy boxes of produce. It wasn't very ergonomic and we had to be fast. Liked the job, but my body wasn't up to it.

    [–]FreeBeans 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    Omg that stinks.

    [–]Sepelrastas 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Yeah, it was bad back then. Haven't yet found a new career as stable as that was, but can't dwell on it too much. It sucked really bad and left me with lasting harm, but it is what it is.

    [–]DIzzy13579 14 points15 points  (0 children)

    That’s horrible. I’ve experienced ovarian torsion too. It was the worst pain I’ve ever felt. I’m so lucky the hospital took my pain seriously. I got a CT scan, ultrasound, and heavy IV pain medication without having to fight for it.

    [–]Puzzleheaded-Ad7606 10 points11 points  (0 children)

    The studies show women have BETTER pain tolerance!

    Please report them all to the medical board, any speciality board that apply, the ethics board, and your insurance company.

    I'd also talk to a medical malpractice lawyer.

    [–]Silent-Level-6219 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    file a complaint with the hospitals

    [–]Quokka_hugs 33 points34 points  (5 children)

    This is fake. Look at the profile, 22 hours ago they were married with a daughter.

    [–]LookAlderaanPlaces 3 points4 points  (3 children)

    What does that have to do with this post being fake?

    [–]procras-tastic 11 points12 points  (2 children)

    Because in this one it’s a boyfriend, though granted she could be using the terms interchangeably.

    Looking at the topics though, they seem tailored for maximum outrage-upvotes. Looks like karma farming to me.

    [–]Quokka_hugs 11 points12 points  (1 child)

    The reason I looked at the profile is because the post was just SO inflammatory. I get that many medical systems are misogynistic but this post combined every single post someone has made about a bad doctor with other posts about unsupportive family members. Then if you read the other husband/daughter post it is completely nonsensical.

    [–]gh0stcat13 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    am i going crazy or have there been like 3 or 4 blatantly AI-written posts on here this week about medical misogyny stories.. like extremely similar ones too

    [–]smalltownVT 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    This is the comment I was looking for. Boyfriend or husband? If you just found out your husband’s mother is claiming your baby hers why are you telling her anything about your medical situation? And no mention of her daughter or having been pregnant in the last year.

    [–]slp50 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    I had the exact same thing with my right ovary when I was 10. Ten years old. I was sure that I was going to die and the doctor said it was a tummy ache. They tested for white blood cells to see if it was my appendix, but that was negative. My mother insisted that I did not complain about pain and pretty much forced them to do and emergency explorative surgery. I would have died for sure if she had not been there fighting for my life.

    [–]Upset_Beat6828 4 points5 points  (1 child)

    The thing is, yes some women are sensitive to pain. Because they have endometriosis. Or fibromyalgia. Or autism. That has been underdiagnosed and undertreated. Being sensitive to pain is in itself a bit of a red flag that is ignored.

    [–]goingslowlymad87 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    And when women have those things and say this pain is different they should be listened to. Not sent away to suffer in silence.

    [–]DuoNem 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    Of course you were a bit dramatic - but the situation warranted being dramatic!!!! Dying is dramatic. The way you reacted was completely valid.

    [–]Novelty_Lamp 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Sue them, all of the doctors for malpractice that sent you home.

    [–]luckyflavor23 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    Complaints and if updated news of your situation worsens, malpractice lawsuits are a thing

    [–]MsAnthropissed 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    Omg, im sorry but FUUUUCK your mom! Tell her that she is being a bit un-greatful that her daughter isn't dead!

    [–]Judgemental_Carrot 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Please report these doctors. Someone needs to hold them accountable, it’s worth a try.

    [–]NvGable 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Its traumatizing. If someone hasn't had a situation like this happen, seems hard for them to understand. This has happened to me too many times. I'm still not over it. :(

    [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    And when you finally - RIGHTLY - lose your shit, then you're the problem ma'am please leave or you will be escorted off the premises you are being aBuSiVe. Yup. But you got treatment so everything's fine you're a big girl :]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]

    /S

    [–]brown_witch 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    When you’re ready, the podcast “The Retrievals” is about the medical system’s dismissal of women’s pain. You are not alone. I experienced birth related trauma and both seasons of this podcast were both enraging & cathartic. In the meantime, emdr is incredibly helpful. I’m so sorry you went through this. No one should experience this kind of dismissal and yet so many of us have.

    [–]Srw2725 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    The dismissal of women’s pain as “normal” is honestly criminal.

    [–]DeCryingShame 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I believe that mental distress is also considered a negative consequence of the doctors' lack of care. Even if your ovary is fully functional, that may be enough to file a lawsuit. I would suggest talking to a lawyer.

    [–]HughJaniceX 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I’m so sorry you went through this this is absolutely insane and I’m praying for your recovery, what disgusting behavior

    [–]leahcar83 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Honestly shocking that they missed this. The way you described the pain made it obvious it was either a ruptured cyst or ovarian torsion.

    [–]Rugkrabber 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I’m mostly shocked by your mom downplaying is by making an issue of you screaming. Thanks to you standing up for yourself you got treatment. Apparently it requires screaming. She should be thankful you did so she didn’t have to bury her own daughter. Absolutely asinine.

    I’m sorry OP.

    [–]Iron_pegasus88 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Boyfriend or husband? Coz this was your last post: https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/s/pb24TNGMGy

    Clearly a fake post, karma farming

    [–]lkm3s 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    It’s traumatising. I’ve needed therapy over it and you do to. In the U.K. there is now a way to call and request an emergency 2nd opinion after a young girl died despite her parents pleading for help the doctors ignored their concerns. The powerlessness and vulnerability is terrifying. It is the most painful experience of my life and I’ve had plenty of pain. My greater fear is that if they treated me like that, how do they treat minorities, very young, and elderly patients???

    [–]Ok-Reply-7792 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Men are way more sensitive to pain, just the flu makes them act like big babies and no one questions it, they get treated. 

    [–]Razzail 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    BRO EVERY tattoo artist I have met. Every single one. They have said women take pain and sit way better. Fuck that misogynistic doctor. I'm glad you're treated and hope you heal with no issues. 

    [–]Intelligensaur 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Holy crap, what is wrong with people!? There is no level of dramatic that is too dramatic when you're in a literal life and death situation!

    I'm relieved you survived and I hope you don't have any more complications from this, but those doctors should never be allowed to forget how close they came to killing someone just by brushing you off like that. 

    [–]ThrashAhoy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I almost died because several doctors thought my massive bilateral pulmonary embolism was just the anxiety of a new mother (this was my third kid and not my first rodeo). I tried to sue, but nothing came of it because i received the supposed standard level of care.

    [–]ltrozanovette 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Reading this made me furious, I am so sorry. Please don’t let anyone downplay the trauma of this experience to you. It sounds like seeking out trauma therapy would be helpful. That’s a lot to go through and it shouldn’t be minimized.

    [–]nunyaranunculus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    What's crazy is there are studies proving women have higher pain thresholds than men. I think it's related to testosterone levels or something. So that dipshit chose misogyny over documented biology.

    [–]Yusasking 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Tell your mom in the kindest way possible that as a woman she should understand how being dismissed should feel and if she cant bother to support you she can f* right off.

    [–]nogoood 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    You are the hero here. Well done for pushing and advocating for yourself. Well done for knowing that You know your body best. Such a scary situation. I'm pleased that the final Dr potentially saved your life. Wishing you a very speedy recovery.

    [–]YEEyourlastHAW 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I’m so sorry you went through this.

    I had 3 years of extremely similar ER visits - people telling me I was just anxious, or making it up, or sad. I had one gastro pat my leg and tell me “sometimes our insides hurt and we don’t know why but we do have to learn to live with it”.

    Turns out - my uterus had jellied and grown attached to my pelvic wall and itself, so every time it contracted, it was literally ripping apart my organs.

    But it was just all in my head 🤷‍♀️

    [–]Viidrig 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    My mum would've died if not for the gyno doing an ultrasound for an entirely different reason (they couldn't find her iud). She'd been complaining about stomach pain. They said kidney stones. The ultrasound showed a tumour on her uterus. They said she had to have surgery asap or she would die. The tumour weight over a kilo (!). But hey, it was only kidney stones, so no worries, right :))

    [–]thevelveteenbeagle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I have run into doctors with this same attitude. ER in my mom’s small town told me that I was probably experiencing an anxiety/panic attack and I was too young and unlikely to be having a heart attack. Nope. I was rushed to another hospital by ambulance for surgery. Mom’s Dr refused to refill a prescription and said he’d “pray” instead. A Dr in Urgent Care didn’t want to take X-rays after a serious fall and instead reached into his pill samples and handed me a bunch of Percocet to cover up the pain. Another ER Dr refused to take anything seriously about a domestic assault and called security when I became upset with his dismissive attitude. Ironically, the security guard that he called to escort me out is the one who gave me the information and contacts to file a formal complaint against the Dr, who was then investigated and fired. I got an apology letter from the hospital. This arrogance that some Drs have is astounding.

    [–]Grompson 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I thought you went to church last week with your husband and your mother-in-law is pretending your baby is hers?

    You need to get your fake details more consistent.

    [–]wackyvorlon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    IMO your screaming was 100% appropriate and necessary.

    [–]One_Chicken2678 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I can't believe your own mom thinks that. Does she not understand you almost lost your life and were told you could have died by a medical professional?

    Also I'm so sorry you went through this. I had epilopic appendageitis a few years ago. Rarely do they operate for it but they at least took the pain seriously and gave me a CT scan and were preparing in case it was something more serious, even if they did keep me there for 5 hours. My sister had something similar happen while she was on her period. turns out she has cysts on her ovaries but they took her pain seriously too. Im just shocked as to how dismissive they were to you and Its so upsetting to basically be told we don't know our body well enough to know when something is off or wrong. Please for the sake of others, make this a big deal and go after them. Not sure if it's grounds to sue but I wish it was so you could really drag everyone.

    [–]LivePanda7804 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    medical misogyny is so so sick istg if I get super rich I'm gonna fund something to fight against it. it's INSANE how often doctors say we're exaggerating or we should tolerate gyno pain

    I'm sooooooo mad your mom gaslighted you also. you were screaming because you were dying. screaming probably saved you. btw I also had to scream and cry in the waiting room to be seen when I returned to a&e the second time. you weren't being dramatic. you were dying!!!!!

    [–]Basically Leslie KnopeThrowaway_Consoles 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I know everyone hates LLMs right now, but one thing they’re amazing at is fighting dismissive doctors.

    I had a friend who kept getting dismissed from the ER for pill seeking (she didn’t ask for pills) and anxiety for months. She started venting to GPT about her symptoms and it gave her a list of things to say when they tried to discharge her. She went back. Got diagnosed with Multiple sclerosis. Can you imagine? Well actually yeah, you almost died so of course you can.

    Another friend of mine threatened to block me if I kept saying to talk to ChatGPT so I just pretended I was her and put in her symptoms. Same thing, “What should I say if they keep trying to discharge me?” And told my friend I found that list of statements in a Reddit thread. Doctors come back with dysautonomia and elers danlos.

    Even just a, “What should I say so they take me seriously?” Can help.

    You’re not asking it to generate an image of your symptoms in the style of Dali, you’re not asking it to write a novel in the style of King, just getting some backup because when it comes to women doctors tend to fucking suck for some reason.

    My elbow had become infected. It hurt to the point of sobbing when I wasn’t moving it. Doctor told me to just take some Tylenol and wait a week. I told him I wasn’t leaving until he drained the fluid and he was like, “Fine, but there isn’t going to be much there.” 8 cc of fluid. After he filled the first 5cc syringe and more was coming out his face turned fucking WHITE. He said one bad bump and it would have burst and I would have died of sepsis.

    All because this asshole doctor didn’t take my pain seriously.